If I were to ask you to listen to two people in the street talking, apart from disregarding the ambient background noise, it should be easy to take in what is being said. It becomes a little more difficult if one person is talking through a megaphone; you will more than likely take in the louder voice than the quieter one. This is a simple example of your brain picking out the dominant information feed.
When we are not in the best state of mind, it is easier to recognise negative thoughts than positive ones; you become consumed by notions which add no value to your life, and which often lead to disappointment or failure. January is a good month – or rather a bad month where these kinds of thoughts take over. Resolutions to change – while good natured – become a burden a few weeks in, particularly where food, drink and diet are involved. Rather than considering positive achievement, it is so much easier to fixate on a small mistake – which can knock your confidence and self-worth and ultimately convince you that there is little reason in continuing.
During the first lockdown, the weather was more appealing that it has been this time around. For most – at the very least – we could sit in the garden and take in the sunshine; January offers no such appeal. With the dark and cold days set for at least another month, you could be forgiven in thinking the worst is yet to come. The truth, or rather the fact is, no one knows what is going to happen but that doesn’t mean we have to accept our negative thoughts.
By continuing to think in this way you are filling your mind with information, which is not only unhelpful, but also encourages the validity of other people’s negativity. Worse still, if someone suggests anything doubtful, or says anything upsetting toward you, you are more than likely going to believe it. Which is why breaking the negative cycle should be a priority.
Of course, we cannot be happy and positive all the time. Life throws some cruel issues to deal with but having a more positive outlook allows us to deal with these challenges in a more balanced way. There are two immediate changes which can be addressed. The first is to challenge what you hear, the second is to identify the negativity which other people project on you.
Working on what we hear first; there are two elements to this. The first being what you transmit, the second being what you receive. By transmit, I mean identifying the thoughts which you generate yourself, these are thoughts which only belong to you – no one else has created them. By contrast, what you receive are external influences such as what other people say, environmental factors such as where you are and who you are with and finally information channels such as the news or social media feeds.
You have the capacity to grade these thoughts and if they are overtly negative then your mindset and outlook will follow suit. You can however choose to apply a filter or look for the positive in the situation. Take the resolution to change as an example; rather than focussing on the small mistake, focus on how the change can be of benefit in the long term.
Your brain has a spam folder, you just haven’t set it up yet. How would you feel if I said all the negative comments people have projected on you in the past can be deleted and everything from today can be filed as spam? This isn’t a shallow notion; it can be reality. When people say negative comments, it isn’t nice – but we have a choice. You can choose to act upon it – which, is positive, or you can disregard it. Keeping the thought at the forefront of your brain only eats away at your self-worth.
By filtering out which thoughts and notions are not beneficial to you, you are re-mapping your brain to concentrate – not on the loudest source, but the most positive source. This will help you to manage a more positive ethos and a more positive day ahead – guaranteed.
Duncan Ellison 