For many, the last time children were at school was almost three months ago. The thought of going back will raise concerns for children and parents alike. However you are feeling, it’s okay to be nervous.
Let’s start with looking at this from a child’s perspective. It is unlikely that any child who spent the lock-down with a parent will have maintained a routine quite like the school time table. Getting back in to that routine could take a few weeks. There will be an element of skill-fade too, so facing tasks and tests could cause some anxiety. If this is the first time that a child has seen their friends since lock-down it could also be an emotional time – a lot has happened this year already.
A good start is to encourage your child to write down their thoughts and feelings – good and bad. This allows them to realise and organise their thoughts and emotions, whilst giving you an insight as to what they are thinking.
It is highly likely that the bed time routine will have been disrupted – and that is okay. The important task now, is to gradually reduce the time in which children go to bed, so that it doesn’t become a shock the night before school starts; 15 minutes earlier each night is a good start without any child feeling like they are being punished.
As a parent, you will have anxieties too. Having your children around you for such a long time and then, not having them there during the day will feel strange. Every parent will say how relieved they are that their children are returning to school, but there will be an element of loss for the first few days – the house will feel quiet and that could be strange at first.
Probably, the biggest concern from a parent’s perspective is how school is going to maintain social distancing. I would imagine that a lot of time and effort has been put in to planning how the logistics of children, timetable and school facilities are going to work. Whilst the majority of this is out of our hands as parents, we can still ensure our children maintain a clean and safe attitude. A good start is the school website, which by now, will be posting about how these issues will be managed.
Having a discussion with your child every day about their worries and emotions is helpful for them and you. Right here, right now, for them going back to school the expectations, worries and pressures will be one the hardest challenges of the year so far. Never dismiss what your child tells you; be understanding, talk through coping strategies and assure them that you are there for them what ever.
It has never been more important to understand your own stress and emotional limits. For those who are working from home, the boundary between work and personal space has been blurred. If your child can see you are having a bad day, it is likely to rub off on them too, so be mindful of how you interact with your own tasks. Whilst work is super important right now, you must not lose sight of the importance of assurance. Positively seeing off your child in the morning when they leave for school and, being there for them when the return must not be under estimated.
Whether you are a child or parent, the first day back at school will always be tense time; it’s okay to feel anxious, confused and lonely. In a short time you’ll both look back with a sense of achievement at how you over came one of the biggest challenges of the year so far.
Duncan Ellison 