Moving house can be one of the most stressful life events anyone can go through – in-fact, two thirds of people voted a house move as top of their stress list, suggesting it causes greater anxiety than the break-down of a relationship, or the pressure of starting a new job.
Moving house – whilst also exciting – forces change; a transition in life which closes one door, to then open another. Placing your confidence in people you have never met to load, transport and unload your personal belongings is a real leap of faith.
It’s not just the physical action of moving house; there are new dentists and doctors to consider, schools and transport timetables to figure out and the long wait of phone calls to change over the utility bills. As territorial creatures, when the comfort of routine and familiarity are disrupted, chaos and uncertainty can take over.
Coming to counselling is similar in many ways. The lead up to finding the confidence to talk to a counsellor is often filled with anxiety and concern. You place your trust in someone who you barely know to move and pack away the clutter and emotion in your head, to then work with you to unpack it and put it away in a more orderly fashion.
By talking to a counsellor you are causing disruption, but let’s not forget disruption can be positive. Once you have had the first session, you know what the counsellor looks like, you are comfortable with the room and you have smashed the route to and from the location, the work of settling in can begin.
The worries and emotional concerns are much the same as your pictures and cushions, they have to be cleaned and refreshed from time-to-time. The clutter and rubbish you no longer need have no place in a tidy mind and, that is where a close relationship with your counsellor will pay off. Your counsellor will move you from a place where you – and the associated negativity was, to a new place which is more inviting and allows a fresh start – without the rubbish you no longer need.
Counselling is not just about dealing with difficult or challenging thoughts, memories and emotions, it’s about re-working the good stuff. Imagine that you lived in a house which was severely flood damaged; you’ll feel angry and upset that your belongings have been impaired. Moving out is a good start but taking your damaged furniture in to a new home will only cause more problems – you’ll not be able to settle in or move on. In a therapeutic context, your counsellor will repair and refresh the furniture you love, so when it is time to arrange your home in your head, everything is positive and clean.
So what about the changes in routine? Your counsellor will help with that too. The worries of how your day-to-life works now you have a new ‘home’ are easily sorted; these will include disrupting old habits and viewing your life from the new perspective you have available to you.
Clearing your head, or moving house – what ever you want call it may be a journey that is stressful at times. You can be assured, once you are settled you’ll be better equipped to relax, re-format and move forward knowing that you are in a good place.
Duncan Ellison 