As spring develops, there are positive things happening — the warmth of sun is starting to be noticeable, seasonal flowers are pushing through and we are a month closer to returning to some sort of normality, however, mental health is far from being a sorted issue.
There is a high probability that you know someone who is suffering in silence — you may even live with them. Ask yourself, what are you doing to help that person make the best of the current situation? That person may just be you.
If you are unaware that someone is suffering with a mental health struggle, putting in place helpful support is a difficult proposition. Furthermore, how do you help someone who may not want any help or know that may need help? Being aware of the signs of mental health issues is a good start.
Dismissing a person’s mental health can be damaging, although you may not even be aware you are being dismissive. Comments such as ‘we all have bad days’ or ‘it’s not as bad as you think’ and ‘you’ll get over it’ are often unintentional remarks that can cause harm.
Helping someone who is struggling can be a fragile process and one that can leave the person reaching out feeling alienated. While the intention is positive, the catch is that for the person to take it in a positive way they must be aware there is an issue — and be prepared to deal with it.
There are warning signs to be aware of, helpful signposts that may provide insight into a person’s mental health. These include sleep and changes in food routines, mood changes, a reduction in functioning, heightened sensitivity, nervousness, apathy and exaggerated thoughts.
On their own, one or two of these behaviours are nothing to be worried about in the short term, but if you notice significant changes, it is worth considering professional help. If you have decided you need to makes changes for yourself, the important thing is to remain as positive as you can be.
Worrying about the things that make you worry only adds to the suffering. There are many good mental health services in the region beyond that of the GP. Depending on who you choose, the route ahead may focus on taking you back to identify the causes of your position, other routes may focus on coping in the here and now, different ways of thinking and action.
All will put you at the heart of the process and while you make think a counsellor gives advice and tells you what to do, nothing could be further from the truth — the action will come from your own self development. Do not be put off by this. Your counsellor will spend time getting to know you so they can help you to see and think through situations in a different and more positive way.
Just like with a physical issue, healing takes time. The counselling process does not happen overnight, so it is important to put in place boundaries. Telling yourself you are going to be happy everyday next week is a lovely notion, but if that does not happen you will feel like you have failed yourself.
Similarly, it is easy to look back at the week and pick out things that feel negative; but remember to give yourself credit for the positive factors. Managing your time, keeping in touch with friends and relatives, healthy eating and self-are are all encouraging actions — do not disregard them when reviewing yourself. Be encouraged by the changing of the clocks, the additional light in the day and the features spring offers.
Try not to look back at this year and write it off already. You may not think you have managed as well as you could have; but that does not matter. Change your frame of reference for the spring and think about what you can achieve.
Be aware of what can affect others and help them with positive action. Do not try and be someone’s counsellor… just make a cup of tea, encourage a conversation and listen to what is being said.
If you can relate to this blog and would like to chat to me, or would like to discuss counselling in Newark, call me on 07759 948001, or email me by clicking here.
Duncan Ellison 